yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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