that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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