I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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