so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
