I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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