My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
