whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
