I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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