Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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