That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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