He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
