Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
