I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize