somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
