Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
