I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
