You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
