Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
