He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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