So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
