Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
