do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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