Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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