so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
