That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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