I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
