Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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