Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
