He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
