My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
