Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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