Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize