Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
