normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
