how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
