I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize