apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
