I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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