Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
