found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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