u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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