No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
