So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize