Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we should paint friendship bongs
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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