I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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