I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
