so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
