Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
