i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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