i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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