my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
