whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
