butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
