awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
