I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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