Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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