Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
