During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
