Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
