Your dad touched me again.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
